hyperstition

when i was a kid i was probably certifiably depressed and definitely edging on paranoid. fortunately for my track record i'm also pretty smart, and i've always been good at covering up my tracks, and playing reasonably aloof. the last weeks of overwhelmaent and school stress have certainly got me in a funk, and i'm remembering what it was like to be 14, but i'm all growed up now so i'm going to try to find something positive about that.

of the things i've been remembering, (happily) just short of reliving, the sub-sane set of rules and superstitions that i lived my young, weird life by are probably the most colorful. i can't remember all of them, but here is the short list of favorites that used to govern my days:

1) when walking late at night, stick to the middle of the road. the patten and color of the lines will guide and elevate your thought process and get you farther in life.

2) never wear any article of clothing backwards or turned inside out. ever ever ever ever. if you do, the fae will fuck up your day at the very least, and may get pissed off enough to shut off your sight forever. yes, this includes socks, and yes, this one i still stick to. it's that deeply ingrained.

3) don't touch iron objects. see fae reaction from number 2. also, avoid running water from pipes (this second one definitely makes hygiene a tricky and confusing issue).

4) don't step on clovers with your boots. i got this one from tyggwr, and didn't understand it well, but it stuck to the point that i still apologize under my breath sometimes to the ground.

5) four leaf clovers are very potent magics, but most people don't believe this because it's only true under the strictest of circumstances:
          - the picker of the clover must not be spotted by the local guardians. you may need to wear a disguise, and you will definitely have to run.
          - the magic only works once the object has been forgotten. so it has to be placed somewhere stable, out of sight, for a long time.
          - giving it as a gift reverses the luck, but only if the recipient knows they've got it. see hiding it above.

6) dusk is magic. but, you should never make decisions at dusk while within earshot of running water or a fountain of any sort.

7) if you listen closely, the trees will talk to you. this is really fucking terrifying, actually, and it sounds crazier than all the other shit above, but there are places i simply would not go growing up because i knew the trees there were pissed off. on the flip, though, there are some trees which will forever feel like family to me. you know how sometimes you have nightmares about family members dying and you wake up and have to call them just to make sure they're okay? i have those nightmares about these trees, but they're all in florida, so i just have to check the news and make sure nobody's done anything they would regret to my tree people. holy fuck that is crazier than all of the rest of this shit.

8) video games will absolutely suck the soul out of you and deplete all of your stored up magical energy. tv does this too, and movies, to a lesser extent. the longer you immerse yourself into someone else's world through a screen, the longer it takes to recover your self and more and more life energy is lost.

That's the wrap-up of the short list -- the tried truths. there were a thousand other little things that would govern my life for a few hours or maybe days at a time, but if they didn't prove out, then they didn't stick around.

looking back over this list, i'm amazed that no one had me committed. of course, this is probably the first time i've ever said any of this in any detail to anyone, much less all of it together in one big burst of crazy. like i said, i'm good at covering my tracks, and the older i get the more pissed off my expression tends to be, so probably nobody thinks that things like this are rolling around in my head. most people are really insecure, and assume that i hate them and leave it at that -- which isn't too far from the truth, but it's certainly not what's fixing a sour expression on my face. granted, it's not the trees anymore, either -- if a tree talks to me these days, i'm more likely to break down and cry. it's just been that kind of month.